There was a time when "self-care" felt like a joke. A word invented by people who clearly didn't have children, a to-do list, and a pile of laundry that never, ever got smaller. The idea of exercising felt about as realistic as a full night's sleep or a hot cup of tea that I actually drank while it was still hot.

But here's what I've learned, and what the research backs up, movement doesn't have to be an hour at the gym or a 5am run. It just has to happen. A little. Regularly. In a way that works for your life. This is for every mum who wants to feel stronger and more energised, but doesn't quite know where to start.

Why it actually matters

Before we get to the how, let's talk about the why, because understanding what exercise actually does for you makes it so much easier to prioritise, even on the days when you'd genuinely rather not. The World Health Organization recommends at least 150–300 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity each week.^[1] Spread across seven days, that's just over 20 minutes a day. Totally doable.

Your brain will thank you first. Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins — your body's natural mood-lifters — and increases levels of serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters that regulate how we feel. A landmark study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that exercise was as effective as antidepressant medication for treating major depression in some adults.^[2] Exercise won't fix everything, and if you're struggling please talk to your GP, but it is one of the most accessible tools we have for mental health. And honestly, I felt the difference before I even knew the science.

Your body needs it too. Regular aerobic activity reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers.^[3] For us as women, resistance training — weights, resistance bands, even bodyweight exercises like squats and push-ups — is particularly valuable because it helps maintain bone density, which naturally declines after our mid-30s.^[4] And studies consistently show that physically active people fall asleep faster, sleep more deeply, and wake more rested.^[5] We could all use more of that.

You're raising an active kid (without even trying)

Here's the thing that really got me: this isn't just about us. Research shows that children are significantly more likely to be physically active when their parents are active too.^[6] We're not just talking about driving them to sport on weekends — we're talking about the everyday moments they quietly observe. Seeing you go for a walk. Watching you do a workout in the lounge room. Noticing that movement is simply part of how your family lives.

Exercise habits are modelled, not just taught. Every time you lace up your shoes, you're showing your kids something no school PE lesson can fully replicate. You're telling them, without a single word, that looking after your body matters. You're doing this for yourself and for them, and that's a pretty good return on a 20-minute walk.

Finding the thing you actually enjoy

If you've always hated running, stop trying to make yourself a runner. Life is too short, and there are too many other options. The fitness world is bigger and more varied than it's ever been, and there really is something for every personality, body, and schedule.

• If you love being around people: Group fitness classes, parkrun, team sports, or a walking group through your local mother's group or community
• If you desperately need an hour to yourself: Walking, cycling, swimming, or yoga — solo movement can be genuinely restorative
• If time is seriously tight: High-intensity interval training (HIIT) can deliver meaningful cardiovascular benefits in as little as 20 minutes
• If you want to bring the kids along: Bike rides, scooter trips, swimming, dancing, backyard obstacle courses — movement disguised as fun
• If you're in the early postpartum period: Pilates and yoga are excellent low-impact starting points — just let your instructor know your history, especially if you've had a caesarean or any pelvic floor symptoms

Practical tips to actually make it happen

Knowing you should exercise and actually doing it are two very different things. Here's what genuinely helps.

• 1Lower the bar. Seriously. Don't set a goal you can't sustain in your busiest week. Start with two or three 10-minute walks this week. That's it. Prove to yourself it's possible, then build from there.
• 2Put it in the diary. Movement that isn't scheduled is movement that gets bumped. Treat your exercise time the way you'd treat a doctor's appointment. It goes in the calendar, and you don't cancel on yourself unless something genuinely urgent comes up.
• 3Lay your gear out the night before. This sounds small, but it matters. The fewer steps between you and your workout, the more likely it is to happen. Shoes by the door. Leggings on the chair. Make it easy for your tired morning self.
• 4Find an accountability buddy. Telling a friend you're going for a walk tomorrow makes you considerably more likely to actually go. Going together is even better. Accountability is not overrated.
• 5Track how you feel, not just what you did. After you move, jot down one word describing how you feel. Most people are genuinely surprised by how consistently that word is positive — even on the days they dragged themselves out the door.
• 6Drop the all-or-nothing thinking. Missed your planned session? A 10-minute walk is not "nothing." Any movement is better than none, and every small step builds the habit.
• 7Eat enough. Under-fuelling makes exercise feel miserable. You don't need a special diet — just eat enough food, prioritise protein where you can, and drink water. This matters especially if you're breastfeeding.

You deserve this

There's a persistent, quiet message in mum culture that putting yourself first is selfish. That exercise is a luxury, not a necessity. That your needs come last — after the kids, after work, after everyone else's everything. That message is wrong.

When you are stronger, more rested, and in a better mood, everybody in your orbit benefits. Your kids get a happier parent. Your relationships get a more present version of you. And you get to feel like a person with a body she actually enjoys living in. Exercise is not vanity. It is not indulgence. It is maintenance of your health, your mood, your energy, and your sense of self.

You don't need to be fast. You don't need to be flexible. You don't need to look a certain way or perform at a certain level. You just need to move — a little, regularly, in a way that feels good to you. Start small. Start this week. Your future self will genuinely thank you.

Always consult your GP or a women's health physiotherapist before starting a new exercise program, especially in the postpartum period.